Aneshka's useless rants

This has been the most tiring 5 days of the wedding preparations. I'm dying of exhaustion. 19 more days to go and this will be over!!!

We attended 2 seminars, the pre-marriage seminar was fun (Talking 'bout SEX is always fun) BUT the pre-cana seminar was TORTURE (Kilatan ko ani!). Imagine 8 hours of just listening about family, married life, God's call. I had fun though looking at the tummies of other participants, am I bad or what? We registered in two bridal registries, had a prenuptial pictorial, assembled the invites, looked for sponsor's gifts and I don't know what else anymore. All I know is that I'm dead tired from all this hullabaloo.

Now I'm back to work AND I'm so sleepy, 1 mocha frap from starbucks please!

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Grrr! I just found out that I have a major major mistake in my invites and I can't just do it all over again anymore. 2 Major mistakes in an invite?, it's a mortal sin. I'm just hoping that only a few will notice it. Grrrr! and to think so many people looked at it and the mistakes were left unseen. Ok, 'I'm letting this go....... " but what the fuck? it still bothers me and will still haunt me for a long long long time.

I can't for the love of God concentrate on my work, as if I even did in the past. Time is getting by soo slow, I want it to be THURSDAY pronto!

Right now I'm tabulating our expenses and I got really depressed. Why? Because ..because ... this is the first time that I've spent this much for an event and I don't think we have any extra left for us to start a new life there. So we will be taking baby steps , one need at a time. --Sigh-- Luxuries would have to wait. Suddenly, I've got a splitting headache. The only consolation after this event is I can fuck whenever I want (Oopps.. R18.)

In my counter:



Uh-uh, I'm in deep shit!

I never thought I'd put another post for this topic but inspiration struck and my fingers are itching to bang the keyboard.

Well, last night I slept really late because my Tita just can't stop babbling about my other tita who has gone nuts due to the infidelity of her husband. At first my lola, tita and other relatives sympathized with her but now that she has gone sort of whacko (staring blankly into space, chanting.. "maldita" or "hala mo kit-an tamo", babbling things like "take cake of my kids" and saying "kita lang mo nako sa dalan nag laroy2") the sympathy that we were feeling has done a back flip. My Tito couldn't do much of his work anymore because he just can't let my tita out of his sight lest she wanders around again. But if he doesn't work, what about the children? Who will pay the bills for their schooling? Who will provide for their allowance? The answer is a big big question mark.

Some people have very very low tolerance for pain. My God! the world won't end just because you found your husband banging another woman. Is going deranged only the solution to the pain that they are feeling? One thing I've found in common with these women though is that they are extremely dependent with their husbands, its as if she can't live without the other, a classical example of the "love-bird" syndrome. Call me maldita or just stoic but I just can't understand why one should go into this. Yes we can be crazy sometimes but not to the point of mental breakdown!!! God knows, I wont be like this. Kill me if I'll eat my words but why should I get crazy, there is still life out there, it may be painful but sunshine will always be around the corner.

Wala lang, just ranting out because I"m exasperated by all this. I just can't understand why pain for some means losing faith.

I just realized that Z Day is soo near last night so I panickly printed the remaining invitations and vowed to make wedding related stuff every single night 'till I die of exhaustion.

I was sort of lagging in my preparations since I didn't feel like doing it and now I'm back with a vengeance. So please bear with me as this post will be a lengthy one. If you have any ideas please don't hesitate to comment. It will help me a great deal.

I was relaxed the past few days and the panic that I'm feeling is back with a vengeance. Can't even concentrate on work anymore, good thing I don't have the pressure of applying for another job =)

Wedding to do's:
church - will pay full payment on Nov. 30, be interviewed with the priest and bring documents e.g. birth certificate, confirmation, baptismal, license of priest, for a schedule - wedding march practice probaly on Dec. 19 @ 1:00 PM
Don't 4get to ask for : chair for the couple, moh, best man and arrangement of principal sponsors, opening of balcony
priest - obtain approved misalette, schedule for an interview and confession a few days b4 wedding.
Florist - finalize arrangements, meet a week before wedding.
reception: choose menu and obtain contract this saturday. submit final layout and pay remaining balance. uh-uh i'm sensing a maxing-out of credit limit. My bonus is not even enough to pay the balance ?!?!? bummer. my bonus and daria's bonus down the drain. waaah!
bridal gown & moh gown- pay full payment as soon as Z gown is finished. To follow-up inclusions i.e. pillows, veil and garter.
entourage (female)- for fitting on 1st week of dec.
groom's gown? - will do this on nov. 26 evening in country mall.
entourage (male) - ask for sizes as I will only rent their barongs from becket's bridal shop.
entourage make-up - undertime tomorrow to look at his portfolio and his make-up with another bride
invites - my constant source of headache, have finally printed all but will have to cut and print the names, rsvp so it will be ready for distributtion as soon as the picture will be ready.
wedding ring - fitting for groom will do this on Dec. 26 after seminar.
reception program- finalize program, meet with the two emcees
souvenirs - place gift tags (this sunday with joyce), buy baskets (no sked yet)
princapal sponsor souvenirs - will look for something. can't find a damn! thing
misalettes - try with the back-to-back layout .... tonight if possible. buy another paper since silly me made a spur of the moment purchase and it was such a BIG mistake. Damn waste of money.
guest sheet - will lay-it-out using the paper that I damned purchase. GRRRR!
guest book - to get finished product on Dec. 2
Tarpaulin/signature frame - submit the picture for tarpaulin ... have to ask someone to do the layout.
photo - buy film, i'm guessing 3 colored films and 1 black and white
- ask otep if jimboy can come
- prenup pictures...
video - will again this time with daria days before the wedding.
avp - follow up diane and aldion, (hope Dee can read this ;) ).
guest list - will finalize depending on those who will respond to RSVP.
bridal car and van - will call avis-rent a car for downpayment.
-follow up anne's BF for the van
cake - follow-up sample cake, finalize it's arrangement.

Other to do's :
- edit and finalize the "TO DO checklist on wedding day".
- compile all suppliers and their contact numbers
- Obtain wedding bann from Daria's mother, got my waiting bann at half the price hah! good thing i didn't pay the full balance yet, they thought that what I paid was the rate for redem so I sort of cheated on this. (bad girl!)
- wedding march practice c/o mama's friend- finalize offerers
- decorate champagne glass, matches, unity candle, sponsor's candle, cake slicer-
bridal registry
- attend seminar for marriage license (nov. 25) before that go to citihealth for more info- attend church seminar (Nov. 27)
- interview with redem priest (Nov. 30)
- compile songs for the reception-
- buy cords, coins and arrhae , unity candle, candle for sponsors (sked this saturday)
-rental of some stuff
- buy bathrobe
- buy wines
- assemble place cards
- make seating placements with guests who will respond to RSVP
- buy trinkets for wedding cake

Boy! this sure helped I am reminded of the mountains and mountains of things I need to do. Since I started this long post, let me post my schedule on end of nov. (time when Z King will be here). And what is he doing? NOTHING. I'm soo tempted to kick his ass . Bantay lang dyud ka inig abot nimo diri....

Nov. 26 - city hall seminar
- Fit wedding ring (mine), give his size to Suarez
- Fitting for slacks and barong
Nov. 27 - pre-nups pictorial, printing of pictures and place cards
- assemble 105 invitations with the picture for distribution
Nov. 28 - pre-cana seminar
- bridal registry enrollment, giving out of invitations
Nov. 29 - giving out of invitations and bridal registry part 2
Nov. 30 - interview with redemptorist priest - pass all documents xcept marriage license - apply for marriage license

Geez, I'm already tired just writing this down. I know I've forgotten to list some other things, hope I can remember it before it's too late. I'm giving away our hard-earned savings left and right. It seems that everywhere I'm going, I'm giving out money. --sigh!-- what one does just to have their fairytale come true.

...eeerr or was it diamonds. I was browsing through my mother's jewelry and I saw this, just perfect with my gown. Saved me a lot of money too! I now have "Something borrowed" and "Something old". If i have not found this then I would have worn an old panty for "something old", kidding =).

Side-story:
I was having allergic rhinitis, my nose was really red and my eyes were puffy and did you see my arms, yucks, I hope I could shed more pounds so I would't have to be this fat.

Blasted PC, could not crop it, the only editor here is Paint and the cropping is really ugly so I'm posting it as it is.

Why is the world so full of philandering husbands? 2 married male friends asked me if I was ready for the married life because marriage life for them is such a bore. *sigh* Sex is confined only in the bedroom and the excitement has worn off. They'd asked me soo many times that it got to the point where I feel the I could murder them for pestering me.

And the timing for my wedding couldn't be just more right, my tito having a mistress with the same age as his daughter, a former officemate where "tsismis" says is seen holding hands while eating in a certain mall and to make things worse my father more than 18 years ago (I just knew this through my cousin). Can men ever be trusted?

As for my uncle his reason was his wife was not always there for him when he "ahhhh" needed sexual gratification, my former officemate's wife was in another province and my father was ... I don't know, I can't get the nerve to ask my mother about this.I myself think of what I would do should I find my husband having a fling or two. I even asked him of his family's history. The good news is there was no one YET or no one has been DISCOVERED YET. I said to my fiance, "during our marriage should I find you having one then you'll see me having sex with other men", an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, to which he got pissed.

The usual reason for extra marital relationship always involves sex because husbands long for the excitement of having a quickie or taste for another flesh. Masarap ang bawal. The saying -> "Sa iyo naman ako uuwi eh", just would not do with me. My husband better keep his promise at the altar or I swear I'll shove a full grown durian up his ass.

Why is everyone asking me this: "So how does it feel now that your wedding is near?" or some other twisted version. It's really annoying because I honestly don't know what to answer. I've become numb to any sort of feelings. It hasn't sunk in my mind yet that I'm going to get married. I don't even want to do anything wedding related. I don't like to think of the things that I need to do. Later.. later..later.. that is always my excuse. My mama is more worried than me, but me nah! i'm a walking zombie.

My fiance always wanted to have a digicam but as money was tight we opt not to have one. We were just joking around that we would be such poor honeymooners without a cam.

Me: "Hmmm...so poor us."(thinking)
Me: How much would that cost?
Him: $xxx.xx
Me: Let me convert, only Phpxxxxx.xx? okay go! let's buy one.
Him: Really are u sure? -->(he asked me so many times that I felt like giving a lollipop to a child, boy! he must want this thing so badly, as if i also didn't one for myself teehee)

So, we or rather I (the accountant) decided to purchase one and a great find too. Now, i'm excited to take pictures and maybe make a hobby out of it. Time to enroll in "Photography 101".



Features ->Isn't our camera great or what?
---------
- Highly advanced 5.0-megapixel digital camera camera with 3x optical/4.1x digital/12x combined zoom
- 14 shooting modes, with special Scene Modes for spectacular shots in special situations
- New, larger 1.8-inch vari-angle LCD monitor for easier image preview and review
- 9-point AiAF plus FlexiZone AF/AE for off-center subjects

Blog Marathon... am I just plain bored that I'm venting out my boredom through this blog. I never got to blog this event and I feel it deserves one so here it is.
I fitted my gown 2 weeks ago, the assistant couterer put first my wachacallit?? You know the one with the wire so the skirt can be puffy.. dang! can't remember the name. Its..its...its...pestilence what's the term? bloomers? nah! I'm sure that's not it, argg! help I can't remember and its soo frustrating 'nways back to my story, after he put that thingy on me I saw a gown at the front of the fitting room and really admired it, nice color and the embroidery was elegant. My thought was "that must be one hell of an expensive gown with all the embroidery" but I was really suprised when he put that beautiful gown on me. My oh my that couldn't be my gown? It was how do say it beautiful for lack of words to describe. I checked my front and it surely was my design. I was floating and I couldn't concentrate if it made my waist look slimmer or what? I was at loss and I couldn't remember what I said to the designer. teehhe. It was at this time that it struck me that I'm getting married and I can't wait for the day when I'll wear that gown and feel like a princess again.

Argg.. I still can't remember the term. Help!

Last night I found out that my Tito (youngest brother of my Mama) had an affair or is having an affair with a girl old enough to be his daughter. It shocked me to the core since I've always known my Tito to be loyal and have not even seen him flirt to other women in contrast to my other Tito who was known to be a womanizer. MY cousin's (his daughter) world has been shattered and she cried non-stop last night because she could not believe that her Idol just did something unimaginable. I can just imagine how his wife is feeling, my tita has been the epitome of the devoted wife. Their lives shattered by just one mistake I'm sure my Tito still loves his wife but he was tempted to take away his problems by taking a mistress. This not only solves the problem but worsens it. The flesh is weak they say but there is always a combat to all weakness, I just hope my Tito had been strong enough to battle his wars.
With this new development, I can't help but be afraid of the future. Will the issue of fidelity ever come in our relationship? God! I hope not for I honestly don't know what I would do if I catch my husband with another woman ditto for me. I just hope our love for each other will be strong enough to battle boredom and may we never get lost in the run. I hope and pray that our's will be a relationship with full trust.

Lazy me attacks again. I know I should do something during office hours, they are paying me to do something and yet here I am doing NOTHING. Yepz, you heard me right nothing project related, I should have studied but no I'm just to lazy to do it. Kick me in the ass please so I could get going. Promise tomorrow, I'll do something with my time for now....let me ....ZZZzzzZZZzzz.

I spent the past 4 days of my weekend cutting papers, printing, sticking the double-sided tape on the invitations. Thanks to my friends Dee, anne, cleo, jan wee for helping me last saturday (I forced them hehehe.) Korn and Edric were there too unexpectedly since they thought dee and company would be going home, the aprilfools had a bbq party friday night you see.I'm 1/4 done with my invitations and I still have a lot to do. I can't believe it's november already. Darn! should I be happy or should I start panicking, less than 2 months to go and I'm to be a mrs. from a miss. Would I miss being a Miss? Hmmm... don't know yet, I'll cross the bridge when I get there and that would be another post.