Aneshka's useless rants

Nagbasa-basa ko sa blog ni william unya nagka "urge" epps dili kana nga urge ha. naka urge ko mo suwat ug binisaya.

Si william bastos kau ug blog..laki nga version ni ella sa number88.blogspot.com. Pero lingaw man, mo agik-ik lang ko ug kalit kung magbasa ko sa iyang blog. Kay ako pa malingaw dyud ko ug bastos nga naa humor. Kabalo ka 'iam daghan ko mga friends nga fanatic sa imong blog. Padayon diha ug suwat2 ug binastos hehe.

Ang taga lear ra dyud ang nasayod ug uban nako mga miga unsa ko ka bastos ug baba, nag joke2 lang gani ko diri sa ofis ug binastos, na shock sila natakdan kuno ko sa akong mga kauban. Bwahaha wa sila kabalo nga more than 5 years nako ingon ana. Tsk! Cguro anghel dyud kau ko ug nawong, kana bang buutan dili makabuak ug pingan. Sa tinuud lang pirmi dyud ko kabuuk ug pingan kay mag danghag lang man akong agi, dili lang pingan, kabuak pud ko ug baso, cellphone, ug unsa pa ba diha. Nabuak gani nako ang ako.. aw aw correction buak na diay ni daan. May gani wala pa nako nabuak ang itlog sa akong bana. Usahay mokatok ko sa una, kalitan lang nako ug i lingkoran. Pislat intawon ang itlog, mau cguro wa dyud ko na juntis kay pirmi ma shock iyang itlog sa ako.

Na, tan-awa gasugud ko storya bastos2. Sa tinuud anghel dyud ko sa una. Gikan biya ko ug all girls school. Ignorante gani ko ug lalaki sa una, hadlok ko moduul. Mahadlok pud ko maligo sa pool kay ingon among science teacher ni adtong grade 5 nga maka buntis ko no. Kay naa daw siya kaila nabuntis naligo sa pool. ako pud tawon inosente ning tuo nga pirti nang butterfly, breakstroke ug freestyle sa mga spermcell sa swimming pool. Pagka inosente dyud! karon maka-ingon dyud ko nga haller! nabuang man cguro tong maestraha. Gi ilad lang ko da!

Ang first nanguyab nako(kalimot ko sa iyang ngalan) kay katong ambot gi unsa to namo pag-ila-ila oi. basta 2nd year highschool ko, nya siya 1st year highschool. tawag2 siya nako sa phone. mag telebabad mi. padala siya suwat nako. unya ning kalit lang siya ug dissapear. Ambot kaila pa ba siya nako kay kung magsugat mi di man mi magtinagdanay. Wa man dyud cguro to siya nanguyab feeling ra nako.

Dayon, next nga love affair nako kay 4th year highschool nako. Nag boy and girl encounter man mi with don bosco. akong partner nga si Man-Man nabighani nako... ingon ana dyud cguro ko ka gwapa. haha!! kay ning gunit siya sa akong kamot kay naa mi activity ba.. pirti man niya paningot. ingon siya kulba-an daw siya. ignorante pud cguro to ug babae.

Ning hatag ko sa akong telephone number, ug cge nami telebadbad, nag meeting pa gani mi sa secret garden sa school. gi damay pa nako si georgia haha! Sa tinuud lang bati dyud kau to siya ug nawong mas bati pa nawong sa akong bana ron. LOLZ!! Pero kay ignoy lagi laki, as in feeling heaven nako kay naa ning tagad sa ako haha! Unya ning kalit lang pud siya ug dissapear. ngeks! unsa man ni akong mga lalaki mo kalit man ug dissapear. tingud pud cguro ning balhin mi ug balay nya lahi na among number. pero hello? pwede ra biya ka mag research.... nagkita mi balik pag 1st year college nako. nag tagad mi hi hello... dayon ning lakaw nako. Naglaway na lang siya nako mayra pud kay bati dyud siya ug nawong puryo gaba.

to be continued kay taas na kau. ako ni i-enumerate akong love stories..mintras wa pa ko gi amnesia

Last week, Georgia and I were discussing the age gap between her new chatmate c/o Ria's Dan ito yung conversation namin:

Me : since 2 years gap ni ria and dan. Binatilyo is Dan's classmate/friend so same age sila. Same age kami ria so, 24 pa pala siya ang bata pa!
Georgia: Huh? 25 oi
Me: Bakit? mag 26 ako this july - 2 = 24
Me: ay teka mag twe-twenty seven na pala ako. pakshit. Hala ka georg, kala ko talaga mag twe-twenty six pa ako. Nye!

Call it age denial, but I've stopped counting at 25. I always have to count my age before filling up a form. Like hello? age mo yan di mo pa matandaan!

I feel as if I'm still 25 or less. I am living the life of a young yuppy, no wonder I'm always confused.

Every night I stare at the wall hoping for the darkness to swallow me up, hoping that the emptiness of my room would lull me to sleep.

Every night these past few days, I am having difficulty falling asleep, I always end up tossing in bed for 2 hours or until I can see the morning sunlight. Friends, kidded that I just lack my nightly exercise and that I am just missing Yiek.

See, I've had bouts of insomia since I was a kid especially before a big event. I didn't get enough sleep the day before our wedding. I was tempted to pop some pills but got scared that I might be addicted. Thank God, my makeup artist was good because he was able to hide my eyebags.

Sunday nights are usually my insomia nights, even when mr. pesky was with me. I always have difficulty sleeping. Maybe because I am well rested on weekends.

I once drank 2 bottles of sanmig when I was in college just so I could get some sleep but it backfired because I ended up peeing every 5 minutes.

Last night, I drank milk but still I tossed for 3.5 hours before the darkness took me. I slept at 4 a.m. grr!

I tried playing smooth jazz but it failed to relax me. I should blame this on my brain because I am such an overthinker. I think of anything from morbid thoughts, to thinking of our future and dreaming of faraway place and things I would like to have.

I popped vitamins this morning, I hope this would help tonight. I am really starting to drag sleeping time. Maybe I should buy red wine or maybe I should try melatonin, its a natural sleep inducer daw minus the addiction. Maybe I should stop "trying to sleep " and just relax. Gawd! I think I need a massage.

The usual scene while chatting:

me: cge babush
me: unya?
FD: uny?
FD: unya?
FD: huh? ako biya gabii
FD: unya
FD: ako man ang matulog
me: grr
me: ah samok
me: never mind tulog na oi!
FD: unya?
me: grr
me: karong gabii maningil dyud ko
me: love you samok!
FD: oks
FD: love you samok

So romantic right? :|. Well, we are not your typical mushy couple. I've sprained my shoulders, knees, have bun-ug (ano ba english nito?) on my arms , he on the other hand have scratches, and kuko-marks from me of course. Why? because we'd wrestle every night, he teasing me of his armpit, putting his feet on my butt and I, doing my very best to avoid it.

I don't remember us writing mushy poetry or any other mushy stuff for each other except maybe when he was courting me but not really those mushy stuff that can wake up dracula's grave. I'd give him the most unconventional gifts i.e. a laddle with our pictures, a squeeky and vibrating duck and he gave me a barbie doll as a come back for my unconventional gifts.

We'd do our best to irritate each other and if you are not used to us you'd think that we were fighting all the time! But not really, since we are not expressive (yes both of us!), our friendly banters are our way of expressing our love. naks corny! (see? mokirig lagi ko kung mag mushy nako).

Ria is really lucky to have an expressive boyfriend but if i were in Ria's case and I were given those mushy letters, I would have a hard time reciprocating it, since I'd rather die than write mushy stuff. To each his own I guess, though I'd sometimes wish that Yiek would be more romantic! But sometimes, he just surprises me with his thoughtfulness that well its scarcity makes me even appreciate it more hehe. Bating nawong, akong gift nga bag ha ayaw kalimti :)

I have a lot of alzheimer moments this week, soo much so that I've accepted the fact that it is who I am.

I left my groceries at kfc last sunday. Good thing, georgia was able to get back the Lindt chocolates.

I left 2 cellphones and a wallet yesterday at starbucks, I ran back to starbucks (a la flash), all the way from the 22nd floor of our building and while fixing the curtains, pulled it all the way down and viola kitang-kita ako sa labas. Ok lang sana, e I was stark naked. haller! kitang kita ako sa labas, alam ko dahil ako mismo nambubuso sa kanila. Buti na lang may office chair, agad akong umupo at tumalikod while quickly getting myself dressed. Hay naku!

So its been 13 days since Mr. Pesky was away, weekends are spent sleeping, exercising and watching t.v. with georgia. Weekdays, are spent on work, gym or mall, then watching the empty corners of my house.

Just tonight, while eating at kfc alone and walking along greenhills it occured to me how bleary my life seems right now and got depressed. Well, who wouldn't be when you eat breakfast, lunch and dinner alone. I do sometimes go with my officemates but I am on a diet and it is much more economical to eat at home. Nights are spent just watching every damn series/movie that i find interesting. Yes, how lonely can life get. So lonely, that I'm playing sad sad songs over and over. Ok, I am ending this post. I am too depressed right now. I'll just take a bath and hopefully wash this depression away. I sure do hope so.

P.S.

While on the process of posting this entry, Yiek txted me, asking what I was doing? a little msg but it took my depression away. I am remembered.