Aneshka's useless rants

Georgia is watching Il Mare right now and well, I can't think of a thing to do since I have already seen that sad sad movie. I was scanning my old emails way way back 1998 and would you believe its filled with Yiek's email. Here's proof:


He is that in love with me huh? He was still making "pa-cute" with me at this time and I on the other hand was in complete denial!

It was not love at first sight, who would fall in love with such an ugly face. LOLZ!!! He was the noisy guy who enjoys giving pranks and always makes it a point that he says something i.e. ask worthless questions during our classes. He and I are of the same course, go to the same classes but I hardly noticed him what with all the cute boys in the university, why would I notice him? My heart still belonged to A.

He was just the regular noisy and annoying guy, the first time I noticed him was when he made a lousy prank to Jegar which went something like this:

Yiek : Bai, itapad imong tudlo (put your fingers beside each other)
Jegar : cge bai, unya? (ok, then?)
Yiek: (he placed a glass filled with water on Jegar's fingers) cge bai, adto na mi ha. (Ok, we will go bye)

What a silly prank! Jegar was flabbergasted as to how he will get himself out of the situation. After all, he can't move nor do anything because of the glass. All I could think of was, "Buang man ni lakiha, way buut" (Crazy prick!)

So I went off my merry world, enjoying my life as a university student. As mentioned in my last installment, he suddenly made his presence known during our groupings in Physics class. I realized that he was not such a bad guy afterall, noisy and VERY talkative yes, but I can talk anything to him. Our initial phone conversation started with the love story of his life, how he had a crush on the girl for 2 years and how hurt he was that the girl now had a chick-boy boyfriend. I was I guess his scapegoat, a way to forget the love of his life. The talk evolved to silly jokes, to anything under the sun. Everyday we would burn the lines for at least 2 hours and not remember what we talk about the next day.

He would visit me at home and give me mangoes from their own backyard. I'd even see him at church going to mass (later on I found out that he would only go to church just to get a glimpse of me). WE became buddies on the phone, during classes and freetimes. I got scolded not once but more than I can count for burning the phoneline too much. He even got scolded by my father who told him "Kung binuangan gani nimo akong anak pusilon dyud tika (If you'll hurt my daughter I will shoot you)", I was trying my best not to laugh, he hurt me? I don't even have romantic feelings for this guy! Oh! c'mon give me a break!

For 1 year this went on, we burning the phonelines and just be plain buddies. Our classmates and even teachers started to tease us. We were after all spending too much time with each other. Guys were even afraid to go near me because they thought that we were an item. Tsk! they should have sought after me! Poor poor me. hehehehe.

I don't what happened, nor do I know the reasons, but Georgia, Joyce, Myra and I (college barkada) suddenly felt that he was hanging around me too much, depriving me of other guys' company. So we all talked to him about it (a la open forum style), that we didn't like was he was doing, he having such a nasty attitude and we don't like him at all!!! Tsk we were such bitches!

After that event, he spilled out all his feelings for me. But, he was just spilling it daw for the sake of saving out friendship. Wala daw siya nanguyab nako ning sulti ra siya. Ahh.. ok!

I told him that I didn't believe in what he was saying but we continued having our regular phone conversations. He saying his "I love you's" every night and me saying that I don't believe him. How lousy can this love story get? He flooded my emails with i love yous but still I wouldn't believe him. See snippets of his email below:



I'm such a bitch for torturing him like that but he persevered for a year or so saying such things to me. It didn't occur to me that I was starting to fall for him, I had psyched myself not to like him because 1) he is not handsome 2) he doesn't go to classes and how will my future look like 3) my parents does not like him. Suddenly he just stopped calling for more than a week, I was waiting for him to call every night, the night seemed boring and my days seemed duller (was he letting me go already?) and well much as I deny it, I can't fool myself anymore. I can't exactly recall the details but we became friends once again. The agreement was, "If he will say I love you to me personally and not through phone then he is officially courting". Hahaha! ang corny talaga namin!!!

to be continued....

Ok, this is to keep my sanity. I am soo freakin' bored with what I am doing. I really hate documentations. Please pa coda nako ninyo!!!

I have no one to chat with, no one to talk to except myself and I can't do that they might think I'm losing my mind. So, i thought of starting my entry on "the beginnings" but how can I be inspired when the one I'm talking about is miles away from me.

Last night, there was no internet, no cable tv, no books to read, no one to talk to, sure I had to do some laundry but I was not in the mood. So I just took the Lindt chocolate container (a gift from william, thanks 'iam!), and tipped it up and down, up and down, listening to how the chocolates inside would jiggle. Up and down, up and down, tok, tok I can hear the chocolates moving, up and down, tok , tok and suddenly I just broke down and cried. How miserable can life get? Ok it's just a one time thing, its been more than a month since I broke down but hey I am just human ok.

Then afterwards, I laughed at myself,how silly can I get? Crying over a tin can of chocolates. darn! I shook my miserable self aside and watch a really lousy murder flick, House of 9. Its the only movie in my PC.

Ok, I have to finish this documentation. I really hate what I'm doing right now. But I've go to work to pay those damn bills.

F D: wa lagi gyud nimo gitiwas ang love story nimo?
sintclaired: ngano ganahan ka matiwas na ang love story?
F D Daria: mao lang
F D: ganahan ra gud na siya mo gloat tsk!
F D: samoka
F D: ay na lang oi
F D: way lami

Luud2x effect. He has been pestering me to finish my love stories installment. The thing is I couldn't seem to "find" the time to actually write something. Ok here is my feeble attempt. I hope as I continue banging my keyboard, memory would not fail me and I would have a lot to write about.

Ok, so where did I stop last installment. I was graduating from HighSchool right? Well, the first boy who officially courted me from my highschool friend's (Jonalisa) cousin. We got to know each other, while Georgia and I were bumming aroung in J's house. Maganda daw mata ko, nakakabighani kaya ayon na "in love" daw siya.

Ang hirap talaga mag english, check ko pa grammar etc. etc. kaya tagalog na lang. Conscious kasi ako sa grammar kasi ang daming bumabantay, lalo lalo na yung si Mr. Pesky. Mali daw english ko etc.2x, ang pinoy kasi paki-alemero tsk! Nawawala ang pagiging spontaneous ko pag nag e-engligh kasi nga ini-isip ko ba kung tama pag gamit ng adjectives, subject predicate etc. Leste naman. Tagalog na lang kahit na wrong grammar ok lang, lalo na yung bisaya walang tama at mali na spelling haha!

Ok na off-topic na ko. Si Rhey yung unang naghirap na lumigaw sa kin. 3rd college ata siya at ako ay isang hamak na 1st year college. Takot pa rin sa lalaki. Pinapunta nya ako sa Julies bakeshop sa school namin at ayun nagbigay siya ng isang card. Asan na kaya yung card na yun. Eh.. ako di ko siya type at sa totoo lang di ko alam kung ano gagawin ko pag may lumiligaw sa 'kin. Pagkatapos kung nabasa yung card nya tinapon ko ng kahit saan2x kasi nga nandidiri ako. Pumunta nga siya sa bahay at nagbigay ng malaking stuff toy pero pinapasabi ko na wala ako sa bahay. Lahat ng tawag nya di ko sinasagot, at may one time na ako yung nakasagot sa call nya nag pretend ako na ibang tao ako. Ang sama ko talaga!!! Pero he got the message later on, at hindi na nga siya tumawag ulit.

Pagkatapos nun na guilty ako, at nag promise ako sa sarili ko na pag may manliligaw sa 'kin hindi ko tra-tratohin ng ganun. Kung ayaw ko sasabihin ko sa kanya.

Nung 1st year, nabigla ako sa dami ng lalaki sa mundo hahah! Sa USC-TC kasi ako eh nandun yung engineering department syempre madaming lalaki. Madami pala akong choices dito syempre si A. pa rin nasa puso ko nun.

Si C. kaklase at ka batch mate ko, medyo may looks naman siya kaya lang bad boy effect parang sa tingin mo paglalaro-an ka lang. Pero syempre na flattered ako, nung nanligaw nga siya sa 'kin galit siya dahil akala niya sasagutin ko daw siya huh? Tumawag nga siya nung nag-graduate na ako at sinabing hindi daw siya naka move on simula nung binasted ko siya. Move-on ka dyan..ka ek2-kan nya nakabuntis nga siya.. yan ba ang hindi naka move on? Haller.

Yung bestfriend nya isa pa yun, nanligaw sa kin na hindi man lang ako nakita.kakatawa nga kasi sinisigawan ko na siya sa telepono na "ayaw ko nga sayo!" pero cge pa rin ng cge. Sino ba naman maniniwala na mahal ka na sa 2nd phone talk namin mahal na daw niya ako? ok lang siya. Pero katuwa rin naman yung mga love letters nya sa 'kin kasi yung grammar my gas! parang yung grammar ng fino-forward natin sa emails.

May isa pa ang kapal nya si ahh Renli pala, nag usap kami sa julies at sinabi nya na gusto daw siya nya ako. Pagkatapos sinabi pa nama do you like me yes or no? Huh? Syempre a big "NO" sagot ko. Weird na lalaki,. lahat na babae na ka batch namin ay nililigawan nya.

May isa pa ... ito yung sinabi nya "alam mo claire, nalilito ako kung sino liligawan ko sa inyo ni georgia" Ok ka lang?? kakaiba talaga.

Yung pinakamasugid ko na manliligaw si E., ang sweet nya sa totoo lang, binibigyan nya ko ng poems, chocolates, angel (dahil angel daw ako sa life niya), letters at ano-ano pa. Kasabay nga sila ni Yiek na sunod ng sunod sa kin. Hmmm..pano ko ba to i sto-story telling a lie. ganito yun, isang araw sa physics class namin, pinapa group into 6 ata kami para mag count ng appliances at lamps sa buong science building. Dito start ng friendship(?) namin ni Yiek. That night tumawag siya sa 'kin, at would you believe 2 hours kaming nag usap sa phone, heart broken daw siya dahil may bf na yung gusto talaga nya ligawan. Matagal na daw niyang gusto yung babae na yun every night nga daw sila nag uusap. Umiyak nga daw siya dahil na unahan siya. Aww.. so ako naging ate charo kay Yiek. Simula noon everynight nag-uusap kami sa phone, kung gaano siya ka hurt sa kanyang girl of his dreams.Naging close kami, kasi ang dal-dal nya ha! siya yung kauna-unang lalaki na nakilala ko na madaldal sobra!

Simula noon, palagi na siyang sumasabay sa 'kin, stanby sa classroom, lunch, etc. While ito naman si sweet E. minsan sumasabay rin sa 'kin mag lunch, stanby sa gilid2 etc. Kung wala si Yiek sa tabi ko, itong si E naman ang kasama ko. 2 years ito na ganito. short cut na ito ha. Si E. sweet siya sobra para akong prinsesa pero kung gaano siya kadaldal sa mga sulat nya sa personal wala siyang masabi sa kin. Tumitingin lang siya sa 'kin, gustohin ko man siya di ko madama ang spark. Careful ako sa sinasabi ko at di ako spontaneous. Nung nanligaw siya, sabi ko "i'm not ready yet". Mali ko rin naman kasi di ko masabi yung totoo na "di kita gusto". oh! well you can not choose who you love eh. Pero I kept all his letters in a box, kasi gusto ko talaga mga sulat nya. Ang galing talaga nya na writer. Saludo ako! Sana makakita siya ng babaeng mag mamahal sa kanya ng todo2x.

Ito na end of installment ko. Sorry na shorcut ko na. Yiek will be dissapointed heheh.

I'm here in NETOPIA SM-Cebu. Why am I paying 30 mins. for 20 php. I can't think of a fun thing to do! Sure, there are lots of shops in here but everytime I admire a bag or blouse, I can hear Yiek and my inner voice's nagging about how I spend money on unnecessary items. We need after all to save up as we will need it(badly) a month from now. I will not turn off this nagging voice until both of us can say that ok we are settled enough, we can now spend on those "want" items instead of need.

I'm just done with my driving lessons for the day! Oh man! It was a killer I think my right knee is shaking from pressing the brake too often. I must have been a horror student. Well, because I'd like to have my car fast fast fast! I'd like to zoom out and overtake those slow slow cars. Now if I were learning manual driving, then I'd be driving really slow. I just cannot get the hang of that clutch thingy. 2 years ago I enrolled myself in Manual Driving and I must admit I sucked at it. I can never get it. Pressing the clutch and gas at the time on an inclined plane and on traffic makes me scared out of my wits.

Ok, I'll be off to Fitness First in ayala. Oh! I think I'm getting the hang out of giving the "I am married" excuse. While drinking my fave Cafe Latte in French Baker, a black American approached me, he knows Bisaya maybe he's half. Hmmm.. he went to my table and said that he really loved my smile and that I'm really beautiful. Tsk! This is what I don't like when walking and eating alone, I'd get picked up! Grrr!! So I discretely showed my wedding ring while drinking my coffee, enough for him to notice that I'm married. That got him stalled and I left the table smiling because I didn't need to make up poor excuses.

Ok! I'm off my 30 minutes is coming up... Ta! Ta!

So sa next installment ko, in our national language na.

Mali yung chronological order ng love stories ko naala-la ko nag start nga pala ako nung ako munting bata pa. mga 4-5 years old. (bigaon na diay ko sa una pa! hehehe) May kapit bahay kami don sa negros. Hindi pa ko nag sko-skol non or nursery pa cguro ako. Sa totoo lang di ko matandaan pero kasi pag umu-uwi ako sa bahay ng lola ko palagi niyang stino-story sa akin yung kakulitan ko nung bata pa ako.. ibang entry na yun.

Anyways, may childhood love ako. Ang pangalan nya ay si Chad, love ko daw siya kasi pag naughty girl ako.. sasabihin lang nila na "susumbong kita kay chad", behave na ulit ako at ganon din siya, behave rin pag isusumbong na sakin. Nag meet kami ulit ha.. nung college nako. gwapo nga siya hehehe! Pero sa later love story na yun.

Nung nursery ako, syempre maraming activities. May sayaw dito may sayaw doon. My one and only partner ako. Si Barry.. lahat nga ng picture ko sa nursery mag partners kami. Ayaw ko daw sumayaw pag di kami partner... mag ta-tantrums ako at si Barry din ma ta-tantrums pag hindi kami ang mag partner. Ang sweet di ba? kaya lang nabalita-an ko na bakla daw siya ngayon? ewan, di ko na siya nakita.

Tapos ito, Grade 1 ako nung first ako nagka crush. Ang gwapo niya mestiso, may class picture nga ako nun. Basta feeling high ako yung parang naka overdose ng cough syrup pag nakikita ko siya. Ewan kung saan na rin siya.

Meron nagkagusto sa kin nung grade four, di ko naman siya type pero alam ko kasi crush niya ako kaya flattered syempre. Pinakita ko nga siya panty ko dahil ewan ko kung bakit ko pinakita hahaha! kaming dalawa ng bestfriend ko dati si Augustine pinakita namin yung panty namin sa kanya. Ang swerte naman nya ano?

Pasensya na wala akong masyadong matan-daan. sabi ng my selective amnesia ako!

Actually meron akong crush from Grade 5 to college. Neighbor namin dati...crush na crush ko yun. Siya ay si A ang aking man of my dreams hehehe. Nung highschool ina-abangan ko out nya para makita ko siya. Pag nakikita ko naman siya pa as if akong hindi ko siya pinapansin. Puppy love nga talaga... at lahat ng panaginip ko ay siya lamang :P. Ang weird din kasi yung parents nya at parents ko medyo close tapos kami hindi nagpapansinan. Sila kasi tinutukso kami kaya ayun ayoko na siya pansinin at baka ma obvious na pinagnanasahan ko siya. Pati mga tshirts nya memorize ko, plate number ng kotse memorize ko rin! hangang ngayon pag nakakita akong pagong na kotse tinitingan ko pa rin yung plate number at laking tuwa ko pa naman pag nakikita ko. pag hindi siya nakatingin sa akin tinititigan ko siya pag nahuli nya akong nakatingin, pa as if akong nagbibilang ng butiki. Ganito kasi yun, every afternoon pag dadating na ako sa guard house ng village namin tatawag ako sa bahay at papakuha ako sa sidecar namin. Siya rin papakuha siya sa motor nila. Minsay nagkakasabay kaming mahintay sa sundo namin, tumatalon na yung puso ko. Pero ayun para hindi obvious di ko siya pinapansin. Actually 3 silang mag kakapatid di kami nagpapansinan. Ewan ko nga ba kung bakit. Dahil pag may party naman sa bahay invited sila lahat tapos mag hi hello lang kami at pagkatapos nun balik to di nagpapansinan.
Kinuha nya akong grad ball partner, na sa laking tuwa ko napasigaw ako! Sana hindi nya yun narinig dahil kakahiya namin obvious na obvious na na may crush ako sa kanya. Hindi ako makatulog masyado the night before his grad ball, eka nga para akong ikakasal whole day my butterflies in my stomach ako. Hindi ako makakain masyado at nagka lbm ako sa kaba! Di ko na nga matan-daan yung night na yun sa nerbyos ko. Pero sabi nya kamukha daw ako ng mama ko grrr! kakainis naman o! mas maganda naman ako. tapos sumayaw kami sweet dance. Floating in heaven, grabe ang kabug ng aking dibdib hiya nga ako baka kako narinig nya, shivers up my spine ang narandaman ko nung hinawakan nya kamay ko.3rd year highschool nga pala ako nung kinuha ko siyang gradball partner. natulog ako that night na naka smile. Sadly, lumipat kami ng tirahan, college na din siya at hindi ko na siya makikita na nag-aabang ng jeep.

Pero before kami lumipat, tinawagan ko muna siya este si mama pala ang tumwag sa mama nya na kung pwede mag grad ball partner kami. My turn na naman para ma invite ko siya. HIndi ko kery kasi na ako ang tatawag, alam ko mag qui-quiver boses ko at baka himatayin nako sa nerbyos. Ganun rin, hindi ako makatulog, tapos nagka lbm dahil sa nerbyos. Hindi ko na matandaan kung ano yung nangyari .. basta may picture kami na yung kamay nya parang nakayakap sa kin. Nasa closet ko to ngayon. Yung kaibigan ng cousin ko ay mag cousin sila (gets nyo ba), at merong picture yung cousin ko. pina blow up ko nga at ginunting ko nilagay ko sa aking diary. Naghati nga kami ni georgia sa picture dahil crush nya yung isang kapatid naman.

Nagkita-kita kami minsan college pero di pa rin nagpapasinan! Ang weird namin talaga. Excited nga akong pumunta sa engineering building dahil may chance na makita ko siya. Hangang ngayon natutuwa pa rin akong makita siya.. unrequited love kasi. haha! Pero no feelings na ha... natutuwa lang akong sa mga kagagahan ko noon ng dahil sa kanya. Napahaba ko tuloy yung kwento tungkol sa aking one and only super crush.

'till next installment na naman. Sabi ko na nga ba hahaba. Hindi ko alam ma ma-ca-carried away pala ako sa pagkwento ng puppy love ko.